Dying For Respect

[ed: This is the first post by one of our new contributors, Daniel Grant. His article will also be featured on the new site, which should be online VERY shortly!]

When my father died he wasn't "nation building" in a foreign land.  He wasn't tragically blown to pieces by an insurgent.  He wasn't even military.  But he did die in the service of others, which in my eyes makes him a hero.

In the late spring of 1986 two planes had disappeared in Alberta's Kananaskis Country. Dad, who wanted to be a pilot himself, hoped that if he were ever in that situation someone would volunteer to look for him, so he gave his days looking for traces of the two missing aircraft.

Spotter planes regularly maneuvered extremely close to rough mountain faces, and on this particular mission Dad had experienced several close calls. On June 14th, the Twin Otter he was on slammed into the side of a mountain.
Within a couple hours two Mounties were in our living room telling my mother and me we would never see Dad again.  Within an hour of that, the Calgary Sun was calling to find out how we were feeling. I was 14 at the time, and in shock when I answered their questions.

When the paper appeared the next day I didn't remember uttering some of the quotes attributed to me.  They were probably accurate, but as said, I was in shock. 

What I do remember was turning down the Sun's request for a photo of my father.  I know it's hard for some opposition and backbench MPs to understand this, but close relatives of recently deceased don't always appreciate prying media.  My father didn't volunteer because he wanted glory.  He just wanted to help.

It never occurred to me that any flags should be lowered, and to the best of my knowledge none were.  It wasn't until the past couple of days that it even entered my mind that anyone should ever expect that.

I'm sorry soldiers died in Afghanistan the other day.  I have so much respect for anyone that risks their life to make things better for others.  Three military personnel died on that plane with my father too, and from what I remember of the memorial service their families' grief had nothing to do with a lack of reporters.

The best way to remember fallen heroes is by preserving their dignity, not dragging their corpses in front of television cameras.  When MPs tell grieving families their loved ones' sacrifices aren't being properly recognized, that's a disgusting political stunt.  These people are still dealing with a recent and tragic loss, and don't deserve to have their emotions manipulated.

The families that do want privacy aren't going to the media for that very reason - they want privacy.  No one is getting their side of the issue because they choose to mourn away from the harassment of less-than-thoughtful journalists.  It's not accurate to say all families are upset by the lack of attention, just as it's not fair to try to convince them they should be.