Trying to buy a beer at a bar in Toronto

Maybe its just me, but its getting a lot harder just to sit down and order beer at a bar anymore. I offer this as my proof:

This past weekend, I was out on a Saturday night at a bar in downtown Toronto. I won't name names because I don't really want to get anyone in trouble. After meeting up with our rather larger group at a set of tables, a waitress came over. She promptly told us that she was the bartender and that the waitress was on break. Fine. I ask whether we should simply go the bar and order there. That, for some reason, seemed to trigger her giving me the epic, Tolkein-esque saga of the battle between our hero, Cash n' Carry, versus the evil menace, Tab. You see, Tab's only weakness is that it can't destroy to a whole table at a time. Instead, the evil one must single out three or four at a time to be his victims, forsaking the rest for all eternity (or at least the rest of the night).

All I wanted was a beer, not a story, to which I remarked "I don't care what tab you put me on, I'll buy at the bar if it's cheaper." Once again, this was met with silence.... After about 10 minutes, I decided I was not going to get a beer from my table, which didn't matter since I had been rebuked by the evil Tab and was on my way to aid Cash n' Carry in his valiant efforts to conquer the bar....

"One Stella", I ask.

"Seven dollars", is the reply.

"Gulp!" I exclaim, but pay my bill.

The bartender then drops my change on the floor and remarks "Oh, did you drop something?" to which I of course reply "Yes, your tip". The rest of the night the bartender/waitress made sure to bang into me each time she walked by. I did eventually find my change on the floor, which unfortunately, did not become her tip.

Anyway, the moral of this story is that bartenders should tend bar. If I'm already pay six times the normal amount for a beer vs. buying it at the beer store, just get me my order. Keep the stories to yourself next time, ok?